As a young girl, I loved Barbie. I wanted to own the Barbie Dream House, Ken, Midge, Skipper, and lots of outfits for the Barbie family dolls. In my eyes Barbie was perfect.
That illusion was carried into my teenage life. I also learned some very negative messages from my parents concerning my body. I was told that overweight girls were disgusting and that I had better maintain a thin and sexy body. As long as I looked good physically, I would be loved and accepted. I was very thin.
During my adult years I have struggled with my weight and a very low self esteem. I was constantly dieting and failing. I knew I would never measure up. I was so full of self hate that I participated in some very unhealthy behaviors to try and lose weight. In the long run, nothing I tried was successful. The only thing that I did achieve was a downward spiral into depression, despair, and self-contempt.
I came to a place of such destructive despair that I finally chose to ask God for help. I wanted to know how He saw me.
I began looking up scriptures about the spirit of man and God revealed truth about how HE sees me! I want to share these life-changing scriptures with you!
James 2:26 states, that the body without the spirit is dead.
I embraced the reality that I am more than body parts. My body will not function without my spirit. I have more than one dimension.
“The Spirit of God has made me; the breath of the Almighty gives me life.”
God created me with the breath of His Spirit! I am not just a physical being—God also created me as a spiritual being.
“For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the spirit of sonship. And by Him we cry,'Abba, Father'. The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children.” Romans 8:15-16
My adoption into God's family did not take place on a physical level but on a spiritual level!
“Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and truth.”
God calls me to worship and commune with Him from my spirit.
“The spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing. The words I have spoken to you are spirit and they are life.” John 6:63
God intentionally let me know that my spirit is more valuable to Him than my body.
“The Lord does not look at the things man looks at, man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” I Samuel 16:7
Clearly God does not define me by what my body looks like. The false identity that I had lived with my whole life, was passed down to me, and I had held onto it and allowed it to control my emotions and decisions. God showed me how I had allowed my body image to become an idol in my life. Sadly, I have wasted so much time focusing on my body. It was time to repent.
To help make my new conviction more tangible, I decided to buy a Barbie doll. I had to bury the idolatrous idea that life is found in having a good figure. I dug a hole in one of my flower gardens and buried the Barbie doll deep into the earth.
I planted a Knockout Rosebush in the soil above the buried doll. It is a reminder to me that I “knocked out” the ideas and illusions of the past and replaced them with God's truth.
I am now 55 years old and weigh well over 200 pounds. Even though I know God does not judge me by my body, I believe that He has called me to take care of it. I am working on it and will continue until I go Home to Him. The difference for me now is that my body image is no longer an obsession for me. I can stand firm in His love for me despite what I look like. God sees me as His beautiful daughter...and that is enough for me.
Do you need to bury Barbie?